FRIDAY FUNNY

One Sunday morning, a young child was acting up during the worship service. 

The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle.  

Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out.  

Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, “Pray for me! Pray for me!”

FRIDAY FUNNY

A mortician was working late one night.  He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!  “I’m sorry Mr. Schwartz,” the mortician commented, “I can’t allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part It must be saved for posterity.”  So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.  “I have to show you something you won’t believe,” he said to his wife, opening his briefcase. 
 “My God!” the wife exclaimed, “Schwartz is dead?!?!

WEDNESDAY WISDOM

Be Aware of Those Around You

No matter how insignificant you may think they are

 

As this college student learned.
“During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one: “What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?”

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman many times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. “Absolutely,” said the professor. “In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say “hello.”

I’ve never forgotten that lesson.  I also learned that her name was Dorothy”.